Empsi sünnipäev

 Been binge watching The Vampire Diaries. I am almost on the finish line of the 3rd season. 5 more to go. After that going to watch The Originals. But what am I supposed to watch after that? I am currently an almost 27 year old still living with my parents and it feels like there is no way out of it. Of changing it. Change my life for the better you know. I have no boyfriend. Now enough about no's. I am in complete denial of my life. I think I just let my life pass me by. I heard it on the vampire Diaries, Yeah. So maybe it is just a naive thing to do. Trusting the series and taking advice from them. But maybe its not. Maybe I am finding something important for me in them. I just need to let go of the pain. I can not be a sad girl forever. I am not going to be one any longer. I deserve love and happiness. Everybody does. Not to want to be a martyr Now, but it feels like I remind a lot like Elena from the series of the vampire Diaries. I cant let go of holding on to the past and home. What if there was a different tomorrow. I would wake up with a reason and be happy to be alive. I have only one life. I better live it and make the best of it. I should and I know it. But I dont do anything about it. I AM NUMB. I wish I felt more alive and I dont know what is going to happen or what to do with my life anymore. I am blessed Now. But why cant i enjoy any of it? We peole are made in strange ways. To be continued..