Dear me

 Dear me,

I hate being alone all the time. All I have is this blog, and when I am frustrated I like to blow steam off in here. I can't find a person who wants to be with me for me, all they wanna do is change you to someone I am not. Just, for fuck's sake, accept me as I am, I am not some kind of a puppet.. Just tired of being alone, I hate it. But the hell I can change this. No now wants me, so there's that. Probably living in my own personal hell. Not so much hell, but I guess you get the picture. I just feel alone all the time, although it can be enjoyable in some parts , but who want to live the same chapter of their lives over and over again? I am a bit deep today, but I hope that's okay. Strange feelings and thoughts cross my mind these days. Just so dull, but yet exciting, don't know why. My life should be more meaningful. Just feeling kinda on the outs sometimes. Wish I had a whiskey or bourbon here, but since I am not drinking usually very much , maybe wouldn't be a good idea. I wish I had a true friend, someone who I can trust. Guess that's too much to ask. Whatever, so I was talking to this dude over messenger in facebook, and guess that one had a lot of things to say to me. So many people, all so interested in themselves. More or less. Just disappointed. Could go on and on with this post today, cause I have a lot on my mind. Well, got nice christmas presents this year at least. Sorry, last year now. So we have 2023. The new year. What do I have to say about this? Same old dull life ahead I guess. Enjoying my lonesome and just being alone with my thoughts I guess. I suppose this year won't be any different. I can already imagine my whole summer spent alone, going to the lake with a bike and then back again. It is my life, so I live it the way I want it. I guess it's okay to live my life like this. No on there to judge me, at all as a matter of fact. Having a full life full on misery. I would love to drink on that, but what's the point? Drinking alone and getting wasted in my room. I don't really see that happening anymore. Just smoking, that I am not going to quit, but who knows, maybe going to quit even that. No promises made. So just trying to make the most of my life here. Plans come and go.